Hi. My name is...TJ

Conflict Resolution

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 07:42:16 -0400

I would venture to say that conflict resolution is something that should be preached in churches, taught in colleges, and learned by all MANY TIMES a YEAR. I have often felt so unprepared for dealing with conflict. I think I suck really bad at it. I’m sure most of us feel that way and want to avoid it like the plague.

In some time with God this morning I decided that I would find some Scriptures in the Bible that would be helpful in how we should deal with conflict. There are both Scriptures that tell us what to do, and some where we see a story played out where people are dealing with conflict.

I wanted to share in case it would be helpful for you. Please, if you have any other Scriptures we can add or thoughts on this subject - leave them in the comments section. That would be greatly appreciated!

Acts 15:1-35 - Jerusalem Council
Acts 15:36-41 - Paul and Barnabas Separate
Matthew 18:15-17 - Conflict between brothers
Proverbs 15:1 - soft answer turns away wrath
Romans 12:17-21 - don’t repay evil for evil
Matthew 5:9 - Blessed are the peacemakers
James 1:19 - Be slow to speak, quick to listen
Proverbs 16:7 - his enemies live at peace with him
1 Timothy 5:19 - charge against an elder
Psalm 103:8 - Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
Proverbs 18:19 - brother offended is unyielding
Colossians 3:13 - forgiving one another as Christ forgave me.
Ephesians 4:26,31 - no anger when sun goes down and put away all bitterness.
1 Kings 3:25-28 - Solomon solving conflict of whose child it is.

Leave your Scriptures, comments, thoughts, and questions in the comments box. :)

One Year Unemployment Anniversary

Sat, 06 Aug 2011 08:19:48 -0400

I want to publicly thank God for giving me a job this week.

It was exactly one year ago today that I applied for unemployment, and thank God for the blessing that it was for this last year. On Monday, I start a new job as an admissions counselor for the school of Education at Regent University. Basically, I help teachers apply to get their Masters and Doctorate degrees at Regent (if you are interested in doing this online or on campus, let me know).

This last year has been a roller coaster of emotions in the realm of job searching. However, God used this time to really grow my life in many dimensions…

Physically - I think one of the most obvious benefits for me has been the development of a regular workout schedule and healthy eating. It really took this time of no work to help me get into the habit of working out. I have lost 25 pounds in the last 3 months. I eat a healthy amount of calories, exercise for at least an hour 5-6 days a week.
Emotionally - As a man, I have grown in my endurance and tenacity. God has grown my endurance muscles to continue to have hope up until this time when I got the job (see James 1:2-6). Also, I didn’t give up and had more fight in me with every job rejection.
Mentally - I learned how to tailor-make resumes in this new economy (if you need help in this, let me know). I would spend about 30-45 minutes on each resume/application I would send out.
Spiritually - My hunger for God’s Word and voice has grown in this time. Instead of relying on the way I’ve always done things, I have begun to trust the voice of the Holy Spirit. I’m talking to God more and hearing His Word more. I’ve loved being able to post notes on YouVersion - as it gives me a Scriptural journal. So cool!

SO ONCE AGAIN - I JUST PUBLICLY WANT TO THANK GOD FOR THIS LAST YEAR AND FOR ALL THAT HE HAS CULTIVATED IN MY LIFE IN THAT TIME! He is a loving Father, a faithful friend, a forgiving Savior, a caring Counselor, and a guiding God.

Faith's Lack of Guarantees

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 16:47:08 -0400

Faith does not come with a list of guarantees. God speaks, we obey, and often we think we know how God is going to answer. Then He doesn’t show up that way and we’re like, “What the heck, God?!”

Abraham hears God and obeys, leaving his homeland in Genesis 12. It’s a step of faith, dramatic music is playing in the background. Then, v.10 happens, ”A famine struck Canaan”. The promised land is hit hard and Abraham has to go live in Egypt as a foreigner. Discouraged and confused? Probably. Questioning God? Probably.

What step of faith have you taken recently? What “guaranteed thing” hasn’t been there, even though you obeyed?

God is our guarantee. In Ephesians 1 it says that the Holy Spirit is God’s guarantee to us of our inheritance in Him. He is the ONLY guaranteed thing in our life. He will NEVER leave us or forsake us. He will watch over us and provide for all of our needs.

Lean back on God. If He has promised something, He will make it happen in HIS time and in HIS way. Trust it. Relax. And learn to speak Egyptian in the process, Abraham!

Great Commandment Apps

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 11:44:59 -0400

This year - I have been doing my best to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. And to love my neighbor as I love myself.

Recently, I got an Android phone and I use some apps that are helping me in this goal to love God with everything.

HEART

YouVersion App
Psalm 119 says that I hide His Word in my heart so I won’t sin against God. This app has helped me so much to take God’s Word EVERYWHERE. Most spare minutes I find myself reading something in the Bible. Take notes, enjoy reading plans, and even check out your church’s live event on the app. If you don’t have it - you NEED to get it.

SOUL

Evernote App

I have been using Evernote for over a year now. It is so incredible. I can use it to save notes, share notes, and access them nearly everywhere. Personally, I use Evernote to journal daily, write sermons, keep personal notes, and keeping blogs that I write. This is a must have.

MIND

Kindle App

If you don’t yet have a Kindle, at least get the Kindle app for your phone or computer. E-books are the future and have even outsold paper book by a lot this year! There are TONS of free e-books, and many are cheaper than real books. Almost my entire library is now digital. I read quicker, have easily searchable notes and bookmarks, as well as the opportunity to share what I’m reading with my social networks. So good!

STRENGTH

MyFitnessPal App

If you’re getting serious about getting healthy, then this can help you accomplish your goals. You can put in what type of exercise you do each day - and it calculates calories for you. You can scan the bar code on any of your food and it will automatically input the calories depending on how much you have eaten!!! And it keeps track of your calories - telling you what you should eat to make sure you reach your goal weight.

I think these are all great apps - and if you have any more questions about them - please let me know. Would love to know any that you use that you think are great. Comment on this post through Facebook on my profile page.

Oh-oh-oh, the Tweetest Thing

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 15:27:00 -0400

Here’s some of my favorite tweets of the week from others and myself:

TJReid TJ Reid  Give into GOOD DESIRE. “The Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires.”http://bible.us/Gal5.17.NLT

dougblackjr dougblackjr “Security is mostly a superstition…Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” (Helen Keller)

TJReid TJ Reid  Life is not a dress rehearsal. Live every day intentionally.

RickWarren Rick Warren Your self-worth is largely based on what u think the most important person in your life thinks of u.Make Jesus that person.

tsatryan Tim Satryan  It will NOT hurt the church if people are called away to go and make disciples elsewhere. It WILL hurt the mission if they stay put.

TJReid TJ Reid  “God doesn’t gravitate toward the people we gravitate towards” - If celebrities got saved article. Hmmm.churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor… via @AddThis

brandonlemois Brandon Lemois 

“@BCooP: The ONLY leaders who believe that you can’t be a friend & lead are leaders with no friends. Jesus proves it can be done.”

This is from our new church: First Church of God Norfolk. So...

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 19:58:33 -0400

This is from our new church: First Church of God Norfolk. So beautiful.

“Go to where people are, you’ll know what to...

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 20:45:30 -0400

“Go to where people are, you’ll know what to do.” Mr. Glass says this to Bruce Willis’ character in Unbreakable. It is something we need to consider as Christians. Instead of sitting in my room reading my Bible all the time, I need to take what I’ve learned and get among people.

Jesus, like Mr. Glass, tells us, “The Holy Spirit will give you the words as the time comes to stand in front of people.” I remembered this tonight as we went to an event in Ocean View. As we were among people, the Holy Spirit began to speak to Jess and I about talking to certain people, and even gave us an idea for a way we can bless a group of people who will be there next week.

What about you? Go to where people are, and see what God might speak to you!

29 words at 29 years old.

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 22:18:39 -0400

Born.
Mom. Dad.
Michael. Laura.
Apartments.
Cleveland.
Kent.
JESUS.
Saved.
Keene.
CLC.
VFCC.
Chilly.
Steve.
Donny.
Jess.
Lionville.
Marriage.
Huntington.
Toledo. Chowdhury.
Hamtown. REAL.
Adam. Andrew.
Norfolk. Flores.
30?!

No Transplant Needed

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 11:13:52 -0400

It can sometimes be a frustrating process of finding where you fit into Christ’s body - “The Church”. But it’s not a process of transplanting your part into what’s already going on. It’s our job to find where the Spirit is already flowing through our life - because that’s the place we fit. We’re already a part of the Body - when we accepted Christ, the Spirit gave us gifts and continues to give us gifts to use for God’s glory.

Some thoughts about the Body of Jesus Christ:

From head to toe we need blood flowing through us - Jesus’ blood makes the body be able to work together.
Some experimentation needed - you may need to do different ministries in the church to see where you know the Spirit moves through your life.
A great leader once said (don’t remember who), “Move out of your comfort zone, but you don’t have to move out of your gift zone.”

My question is: What is my part of Christ’s body? What has God specially anointed me to do?
See 1 Corinthians 12 for more thoughts from Paul on this…

Sodom's Real Sin

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 10:21:59 -0400

Yesterday, I took some time to read Ezekiel in a mass quantity - I read like 27 chapters. It really amazed me the things I learned about the character of God, how he trusted his heart and ways to Ezekiel, and even how God views culture.

One Scripture that really stood out to me was Ezekiel 16:49-50. God is sharing about the sin of Sodom as a warning to His people. He says,

The sin of your sister Sodom was this: She lived with her daughters in the lap of luxury - proud, gluttonous, and lazy. They ignored the oppressed and the poor. The put on airs and lived obscene lives. And you know what happened: I did away with them.

Now, I’m not trying to go on a tangent and seem self-righteous, but this sounds a lot like our culture. It wasn’t just the sin of illicit sex that took Sodom down. We need to confront these sins if they exist in our own lives. Not for fear of destruction, but out of fear and love for God.

Am I prideful?
Am I gluttonous?
Am I lazy?
Do I ignore the helpless?
Do I put on airs?
Do I live obscenely?

Jesus opens the way to be forgiven from any or all of these things. He has pleased God as the sacrifice for our sins. We need to turn to Him to be freed from the coming wrath. God spoke this to a people who were called His people. If we are the people of God, we should bear a resemblance to the family name that we identify with.

Bodies - A Divine Exhibition

Tue, 31 May 2011 09:51:11 -0400

Romans 8:3 stopped me in my devotional tracks today. It says, “He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have.”

It has always amazed me how the divine became human. Like a woman trying to fit into a way too small dress - can you imagine compressing deity into a human body? What did this mean? A few things that really stand out to me are…

Need - this God who has no needs (Acts 17:25), now needs food, clothing, shelter, and help. He is relying on human beings and God to provide His needs.
Sickness - did Jesus get a chest cold? Probably. I don’t think that sickness is related to sin, but rather this body we sinners have inherited.
Attraction - Rick Warren recently said this and it made me think: “Attraction to beauty & arousal isnt a sin. It just means you’re alive. Lust is wanting what is not rightfully yours.” I’m sure that Jesus probably thought that women were attractive, but He did not sin in that (Hebrews 4:15). There’s hope for young guys and girls in our age, because Jesus defeated even the sin of lust!

I’m just really thankful this morning for Jesus - because He felt all of the things I have felt. He learned to rely on God in all of those moments! I want to learn reliance like Jesus learned.

Smile Saturday!

Sat, 28 May 2011 19:25:21 -0400

Smile Saturday!

Do Something. Remember You're Valuable.

Fri, 27 May 2011 13:08:27 -0400

“Men are made stronger on realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm.” ~Sidney J. Phillips

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” ~Abraham Lincoln

“Church planters that pray but refuse to take action never actually do what God has called them do to…and they wind up bitter at God because they prayed for things that God was more than willing to do if they had just acted on what they were praying for!” Perry Noble

_______________________________________

One of the toughest aspects of this step of life I find myself in, has been SELF-MOTIVATION. At first, I got easily frustrated and depressed at not having a job and not really knowing what to do about planting a church.

Then, one day I decided that I would wake up, take a shower, and spend most days at Regent University and other places where people were. I would talk to people, I would study church planting, I would strategize, I would pray.

I decided to work the job that I was praying for in the future. I’ve begun to set a schedule and then also listen to God and what He was telling me to do.

That Perry Noble quote has hit me square in the face. I don’t ever want to be bitter at God for the lack of faith I’ve had in taking BIG STEPS. I want to work hard, OBEY BIG, and do what I’m called to do - even when I can’t see it. That’s pretty much the epitome of faith, RIGHT?!

I’ll leave you with a story about Abraham Lincoln. After the Civil War, there was a big recession happening in the United States. Some men approached Lincoln and told him that they had tried everything to get jobs and didn’t have much hope. He asked what they did when they weren’t looking for work. One said he stayed at home. Others said they built fires in a vacant lot and spent time together. Two others said they were so depressed that they stopped looking for jobs at all.

Lincoln said, “Men, you can’t just sit around wasting your unused time. Continue to look for work, but in the time you have left, do SOMETHING. ANYTHING…Don’t forget the value you possess as a human being. You have forgotten the value with which the Almighty created you…As you DO SOMETHING - you will renew your belief in yourselves. You will remember again the value you have…others will begin to see value in you and notice the great work you are doing…people of value gain opportunities; they get help; they receive job offers. Why? BECAUSE THEY DID SOMETHING WHEN THEY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.”

The cool thing about President Lincoln is that he followed up with those men and heard their great stories of what happened as they saw value in themselves.

For you - if you don’t know what to do…DO SOMETHING. Work hard. Remember the value you have.

I Still Want to Win the Girl - Part 3

Fri, 27 May 2011 09:00:06 -0400

This Saturday is Jess and I’s 6th wedding anniversary. I’ve been reflecting on our love story - feel free to listen in.

I’m so grateful for the life that Jess and I have built together. We couldn’t have done it without Jesus as the center of our relationship and the pulse of our love.

A few of the reasons I believe Jess and I are building a great marriage is because…

Shared goal - At our wedding we declared that we would share the Gospel of Jesus together for the rest of our lives. This shared goal has given us hope, joy, spared us many fights, and taken us around the country so far in our lives.
Open communication - We’re not afraid to say something to each other. We are comfortable talking about anything together, even if we’re disappointed with the way something has been working out. So many couples suppress the truth and it ends up leaking out in unhealthy ways to others or in front of others. Be careful not to be mean, but to be truthful in love (I keep learning this one).
Time away together - Life is crazy busy a lot. We take advantage of days off for Sabbath and weeks off for vacation. I LOVE spending time with Jess. If I could do it full time, I would. But, it’s so awesome to know that at least one week a year, I get to be with just her with no distractions for vacation. And that on nights and Sabbath days - I can get away with her, take a deep breath, and remember how great life is together!

Yeah - I guess you could say, I love her! 6 years has flown by, but we’ve packed so many adventures into it! Here’s to 70 more years together!!!

I Still Want to Win the Girl - Part 2

Thu, 26 May 2011 09:00:06 -0400

This Saturday is Jess and I’s 6th wedding anniversary. I’ve been reflecting on our love story - feel free to listen in.

That summer, I loved getting to know everything I could about Jess…

I would wake up early and pick her up a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee every Sunday before I picked her up for church.
Gummy worms were one of her favorite candies & I would pick them up for her.
I would write her cards and draw little stick figure pictures of dates we had or fun things we had done recently (and still do it to this day).
I was watching these 3 brothers over the summer for the church. Jess would go with me to take them to see $1 movies at the Cinemark. I learned her sense of humor as I watched her interact with these little boys - it was so cute and lovable!
One night after youth - me, Jess, and Donny went outside during a thunderstorm and jumped in puddles barefoot - I saw her spontaneity.

I still want to keep learning more about more about Jess as the years go by. She has made me the happiest guy in the world and I hope I can repay her the joy, attention, and love she has given to me.

Letter to Myself - Bible Butt-kicking

Wed, 25 May 2011 16:05:52 -0400

Wrote a letter to myself in my journal today. I needed to hear truth - here is most of the letter. Maybe it will encourage you where you are at today:

Ok, TJ, listen up!
Life is discouraging right now with no job and just a vision for a church plant. But now is not the time to give up. Now is the time to stand firm. This is where the full armor of God becomes extremely useful - “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done EVERYTHING, you can STAND!” (Ephesians 6:13).
Favor doesn’t come without a fight. Don’t mistake the fight for lack of favor from God. The fight builds faith and God smiles on faith. “It’s impossible to please God without faith.” (Hebrews 11:6)
God has been winking his approval at you through little hints these last few months. He called you to minister to military families. Jess got a job in the business office working with military billing (*wink*wink*). People from Valley Forge where you went to college are down here in the Navy (*wink*wink*). Friends that are really encouraging and love you and Jess very much are living down here (*wink*wink*).
Have faith and when it’s being tested - know that God is causing your endurance to grow. The longer I hold out faith - the better my endurance is going to get (James 1:3). Let endurance do it’s work in you - so you can be mature and complete not lacking anything (James 1:4). If you need wisdom in this time, TJ, ask God! He will give the Heavenly wisdom you need (James 1:5) and it’s not always just giving you a job you’ll enjoy. It’s an exhortation toward patience or fighting to keep faith and trusting He is in control.

If you’re going to be a church planter, you’re going to need this type of enduring faith. When the finances aren’t there for periods of time - you will need to believe that God will provide for your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19), just like he did for Paul the church planter.
God began this work in you, TJ, and He’s gonna see it to completion both in this season of life and until He comes back again (Philippians 1:6). Put your eyes on Jesus - the Master Endurer - who suffered and died at the hands of sinners for the joy set before Him (Hebrews 12:2,3). Think of all He went through so that the temptation to give up won’t be one you give into.

Go out today with your eyes set on Jesus, your heart full of faith, and the knowledge that He is going to do what He said He would do.

I Still Want to Win the Girl - Part 1

Wed, 25 May 2011 08:25:39 -0400

This Saturday is Jess and I’s 6th wedding anniversary. I’ve been reflecting on our love story - feel free to listen in.

I’m one of those weirdo guys who took a long time to ask a girl out. Not because I was praying about it or something - but because I’m mad shy most of the time.

So, I’m sure that Jess was getting impatient by June 2004. We had been doing youth ministry together in Lionville, PA and we really enjoyed hanging out and laughing together. I had been flirtatious for probably a couple of months, but was scared to ask her out. But, fate had it that our friends were all supposed to go back to Ohio and go to Cedar Point in June. The day we were leaving, everyone backed out besides Jess (maybe it was a setup?!).

I took Jess home. She met my family. My mom said that I needed to keep this girl. My brother said, “Good job, butthead”. So, on June 11th, 2004 I asked Jess to be my girlfriend. Everything in me wanted to make this girl happy. Butterflies in my stomach every time I saw her or was going to pick her up.

Though the butterflies aren’t always there now, I still want to win the girl. I want her to know how much I love her and can’t wait to see her everyday.

Love's Old Fashioned

Sat, 21 May 2011 16:03:51 -0400

I really like this song by Cee-Lo Green. Sounds like an old Motown song. Check out the lyric’s:

My loves’ old fashioned
But it still works
Just the way it is

This love is classic
And not just simply because
I say it is
It’s right on time (right on time)
And it’s timeless (timeless)
And it’ll be right here, for always

My loves’ old fashioned
So be it, I’m set in my ways
Hush child, just listen
Don’t it sound just like the good old days

Well it’s right on time (right on time)
And it’s timeless (timeless)
And it’ll be right here, for always (always)
My love’s right one time (right on time)
And it’s timeless (timeless)
I’ll be right here for always

Oooo… people they gather round, and they wonder how
Are we in love right here and now
I just smile cause true love doesn’t go out of style
Ooh… right on time, Ooh, yes,
Ooh… on time, ooh timeless
I’ll be here, for always

2 Things Matter Practical Steps

Thu, 19 May 2011 09:47:08 -0400

Yesterday, we talked about how the two things that matter most to Jesus and should matter most to us is to…

LOVE GOD and LOVE OTHERS.

Today, I just want to share some of the practical ways that I’m trying to make this happen.

1. Love God.

Bible reading - I use YouVersion.com for Bible reading plans. I don’t know how to explain it - but I’m reading the Bible because I love God not just to keep a program going. I’m currently doing the Major Beliefs reading plan.
Car talks with God - I find myself talking to God much more frequently as I just chat with him in the car. It helps because we have a decent commute here every day.
Worship music - I have remembered that music and singing to God is one way that I feel really close to Him. It sometimes expresses right what’s in my heart and sometimes even convicts me where I’m at. I love singing to God!

2. Love Others. Sometimes when I get busy doing God’s work - I end up neglecting family relationships and friendships. I’ve been trying to be better at this lately.

Birthday cards and other cards - I’m making it a point to put immediate family’s birthdays on the calendar and send them cards on special occasions.
Regular phone calls - outside the normal pace of life, I need to talk to a few close friends each week or two. It helps to have someone outside my situation to talk to and who remembers what you’re like outside of ministry.

Only 2 Things Matter

Wed, 18 May 2011 16:01:04 -0400

There are times when life becomes simplified no matter how much you kick or scream. We like complexity, because it makes us feel busy, successful, and accomplished at what we do. Even if we aren’t really doing much, we like people to think we are - and it becomes a successful facade we hid behind for reassurance. I’ve been there - and if you admit it - you have been too.

Since moving here to Virginia, I have been forced to simplify and slow down. My life went from being busy to a virtual standstill. That’s natural - because now we’re just in a different season. I needed to hear God’s voice. And when I’ve really stopped to listen he’s said something a lot...

LOVE ME and LOVE OTHERS.

Jesus says 2 things matter most: Love God and love others (Luke 10:27-28).

Rip away the frantic, complicated way of life you’ve been living and honestly ask…

Am I loving God - for real? Do I love Him or secretly resent Him?
Corrie Ten Boom said, “When Jesus is all you have, Jesus will be all you need.” I’ve had long stretches of time like that lately. I have realized how much my very being needs Jesus (Acts 17:28).
Am I loving people? Do you love people around you - whether they’re a ministry or not?
Do you love your family the way God loves you? Do you love your friends the way God loves you? Do you love the people you are meeting for the first time, the same way God would?

I’ll share tomorrow some practical ways that I’m doing this in my life - hope it will help get the ball rolling with you.